With this being my first Father's Day, I figured that I'd take some time to jot down a few observations about fatherhood. I'm kind of amused by the fact that I had to wait over a year since Vince was born before my first Father's Day, but it has made it pretty special that he's old enough for me to play with.
In no particular order, here are some thoughts of mine:
1) Sleep deprivation is torture. When you have a young infant, and you're waking up every hour and a half, and you're going to work the next day, it really wears you down by the fifth night in a row. All of those Washington lawyers who argued that it's not torture either a) do not have kids; b) were uninvolved parents; or c) are just plain crazy. Sleep deprivation causes you physical pain. A little sleep deprivation can make a grown man cry.
2) Being a father is work. A LOT of work. To me, being a father is about taking care of your child, teaching them right from wrong, and being someone that they respect and want to emulate. Anyone can father a child, but it's hard to be a father. I can only speak about what it's like to be the father of an infant, but it's been a lot of work so far. If you're not prepared to put your life on hold while you take care of your child, then you shouldn't have a child. It certainly affected me more than I thought it would. Some things that you'd like to do, like keep the house clean or stay on top of work, just aren't going to happen. You also don't get much personal time anymore, which was a big adjustment for me. But I really want to be a good father, so I've been putting in the work. I don't want Vince to say what Kurt Cobain did: "I tried to have a father, but instead I had a dad."
3) Daycare pickup is a lot more fun than drop off. Luckily I don't have any problem with Vince when I drop him off. He's not that clingy, and there's a lot of fun things at daycare that he can play with. About half of the time, he's too busy playing to notice that I left. But when I pick him up, it's the best part of his day. When he sees me, he gets so excited, and he crawls as fast as he can towards me. If I don't pick him up right away, or if I put him down to gather up his things, he throws a fit. But I just love the overall joy that he shows when I walk into the room. It's one of the most satisfying parts of being a parent.
4) I don't miss the things I used to be able to do before kids as much as I thought would; except sleeping. There are some things that I used to do, that I don't do anymore, like staying out late at night and having a few drinks. I also don't sleep in half of the morning because I feel ill after staying out late at night and having a few drinks. It's really easy, as a parent, to say: If I didn't have a kid, I could be doing something really cool, like (fill in the blank). Of course, when I didn't have a kid, I wasn't doing those things very often anyway, and having Vince now is far more enjoyable and rewarding than anything I could do that "fills in the blank".
5) The day to day development of infants is more significant than I realized. It seems like Vince is doing new things all the time, and sometimes out of nowhere. I was convinced that he would never crawl - just go from dragging himself across the floor commando-style to walking. Then one day, he comes home from daycare and starts crawling all over the place! Whether it's a new sound that he makes, or new motor skills, it seems like there's something new all of the time. I couldn't imagine missing this part of his life, when he's changing so fast.
6) The most fun month of Vince's life is always the last month. Every day he's more interactive, and there's new ways that I can play with him. The older he is, the more he laughs, and the more he enjoys playing with me, too. Already the first 6 months of his life, which was more work than fun, is starting to fade, and I have more and more memories of the fun that we have together.
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