Those are the words that come up every time I sign into my Skype account. I've actually taken akin to those directions, especially during the last month where I've found myself in several moments where I've needed to stop... and take a deep breath. I'm still not over the whole fall out of the house we were trying to buy, and when I think of it I sort of get sick. The house is off the market now, who knows if some other sucker is getting it or what, but I feel like I'm just going to have to deal with knowing that someone else will be living in my house for the rest of my life. Everyone keeps telling me it wasn't meant to be, and that when we find another house it'll be better. I'm sure that's true, but last weekend we looked at houses that were pretty dumpy and it just made me want to cry. That's when I stopped, to take a deep breath.... Tomorrow we're looking at more houses and I'm trying to keep optimistic about it, knowing that we are lucky we don't HAVE to move.
My other source of stress is my new job, which I love.... but is consuming all my time and energy. It's been a big adjustment going from part time to full time.... and from getting home around 5pm to now getting home around 6:30pm if I'm lucky. It's made it hard for Mike with Vince, and getting dinner cooked, and being able to spend time with Vince before he goes to bed, and getting enough sleep before we get up in the morning to do it all over again. My orientation is over and I started totally on my own this week; it's been good and I think I'll be able to handle it. My orientation was cut short because they didn't have anyone to cover my team... and I had to miss about a week of it due to Vince being ill, then me being ill, and then a Monday holiday. That was another time where I just had to stop, and take a deep breath.... it's all going to be ok.... and I'm learning so much every day at work, I'm looking at it as my year of residency. And I know millions of moms do this every day for decades of their lives so I think I'll live.
Meanwhile, Vince is growing in leaps and bounds; and now that I have less time with him during the week, I get home and I actually get giddy about having to change his diapers, or feed him and put him to bed. He's learning so many new things each day. I've been trying to get him to clap his hands for a couple weeks or so. Today he actually attempted to do it himself! He put his hands together and flapped one of them towards and away from his other hand repeatedly. It was so adorable. I'll have to get that video clip later. He's really enjoying the cats as well right now, and giggles hysterically every time they get anywhere near him, reaching out to try to pet (or grab) them. They look at him as though he just said some super insulting words to them, and then just walk away disgusted. He is sitting up just fine but still not crawling. Instead he'll lay on his tummy and start moving his arms and legs as if he's swimming through the floor. He also puts his butt in the air like he's thinking of crawling, but he'll end up moving a little bit backwards from where he started.
So anyway, life is stressful but I think we're going to make it after all. All I have to do is once in a while stop, and take a deep breath.....
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